Warranty Jokes - 27 Hilarious Warranty Jokes (2024)

Life is like a warranty

It always runs out at the worst time possible

I didn't get a warranty on my air conditioner...

But it would be cool if I did.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Warranty?

Julia walks past a pet store and sees a for sale sign in the window. *A frog that knows cunniling*s*, ***50 dollars***, it reads.

Intrigued, she buys the frog and heads home. She takes off her underwear and sits down in front of the frog. Nothing happens. She then calls the pet store to compl...

An oceanarium took out an insurance policy on their trained seals.

One day one of their seals got injured and needed treatment. However, the insurance company rejected their claim.
The reason was: "Warranty void if seal is broken."

The Cuckoo Clock Mayhem

I was invited for dinner with my old friends.

I swore to my wife that I'd be back at midnight. She didn't believe me, but I still went there.

The meal was very tasty, time flied, my blood was already scarce compared to all of the alcohol and I was extremely drunk. At about 3 AM, I went...

An Inuit man walks into a pet store...

An Inuit man walks into a pet store holding a dead, bloodied seal, he screams at the owner "SOMEONE HAS CLUBBED MY SEAL, I DEMAND A REFUND!" The owner looks at him and says, "Sorry, warranty void if seal is broken."

I swear, if I got a nickel for every spam call I got

I would finally be able to pay for my car's extended warranty

The Best Things In Life Are FREE!*

\*Plus Shipping & Handling - Lifetime Warranty - No Refunds No Returns

What should you do when your car breaks down on the side of the road?

Wait for 10 minutes...When the phone rings, you can extend your car's warranty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Colonoscopy Prep

My girlfriend is going in to get a colonoscopy tomorrow. She wants me to pick up some large Googly-eyes to make her ass look like a face, then she wants to tuck in a post-it note saying “Psssst: we’ve been wanting to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty.”
Never a dull moment here.

Hello darkness my old friend...

I've come to talk to you about your car's extended warranty.

On March 10th, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made the first telephone call.

Moments later, he learned his auto warranty had expired.

A telemarketer called me up 15 minutes ago on my cellphone (they call every fxxking day)

He said, "We have a vehicle warranty and have noticed that you are in need of one."

I said, "How do you know that I am in need of a warranty right now?"

He said, "Your previous warranty just recently lapsed and we need to make sure that you are continually covered."

I said, "I a...

Can we fix the American Dream?

No. The warranty expired after one generation.

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

What's the difference between a professional engineer and an amateur?

How quickly the product dies after the warranty period

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"I've finally realized that I should never have given Timex my real email address when I filled out my warranty card," he complains to the bartender. "Now it looks like I'm on some sort of a watch list."

A quality engineer married an average girl...

​After a tough life with her for two years, he ended with his patience​ ​and finally wrote a note to his father in law...​

​Your Product Not Meeting my requirements. .​

​The smart father in law replied..​

​Warranty Expired.... Manufacturer not responsible.​

My Mom’s sister got Coronavirus so I bought her a new computer.

The warranty said it came with free “Aunty-virus” protection software.

[OC] A genie grants a man his first two wishes, and the man was so upset with how the wishes turned out, that for his third wish, he wished that the genie would go to hell.

The genie arrives in hell, and the Devil is surprised. "We've never had a genie down here before!" the Devil exclaims.

The genie says, "Well, I guess you're my new master, would you care to make your first wish?"

The Devil gets very excited, and quickly replies, "YES! I've been dreamin...

Ancient relics

I pass by this ancient mailbox all the time when we drive down our road to the house.. The old rusty box is nailed to an oak that has to be 150 years old. After too many times of passing it by I decided to open the box to see if anything was inside. After all, there isn’t even a house nearby to whic...

Dealing with Corporate Information Gathering

The other day, I was purchasing a television antenna in a major electronics store and was asked by the cashier for my name.

“Why,” I asked. ‘I don’t need a warranty.”

“I have to have it for our records,” explained the cashier.

Fed up with practice of companies gathering as mu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

Christmas traditions

The week of Christmas is always a hectic one at the North Pole. This one from long ago was especially so.

The elves had learned a new word “Unionize” and kept making threats.

Blitzen was colicky, Dasher had the worst case of gas he’d experienced in years and Vixen was pregnant; again!<...

How many geek squad geeks does it take to change out a lightbulb?

1. Just sign here on the new mortgage and turn in your old house. The new one comes with all new bulbs and they're all guaranteed for 3 years. Would you like the home warranty with that?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this boy, and he really loves tractors... [xpost from funny.]

He developed an exceptional love for tractors at quite a young age. He had grown up on a farm and his father was a farmer, his father's father was a farmer, and so on. He wanted nothing more than to, one day, buy his own tractor and take over his father's jobs on the farm. The boy maintains his obse...

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Warranty Jokes - 27 Hilarious Warranty Jokes (2024)

FAQs

How do I stop fake warranty calls? ›

You can add your name to the National Do Not Call list, but that generally only stops telemarketers from calling you. The best way to avoid extended warranty scam calls is by hanging up the phone immediately and blocking the phone number.

Who has the longest warranty? ›

Best Factory Car Warranty Comparison
Factory Warranty ProviderPowertrainBumper-to-Bumper
1. Hyundai10 years/ 100,000 miles5 years/ 60,000 miles
2. Kia10 years/ 100,000 miles5 years/ 60,000 miles
3. Mitsubishi10 years/ 100,000 miles5 years/ 60,000 miles
4. Genesis10 years/ 100,000 miles5 years/ 60,000 miles
1 more row
May 12, 2024

Who gives the longest warranty? ›

Kia has long led the field for manufacturer warranties. All models in the Korean brand's range are covered by an impressive seven-year/100,000-mile warranty.

What breaks a warranty? ›

You Significantly Altered the Product

Sometimes, even self-repairs or third-party repairs of a defective product can void the warranty. Using a third-party replacement part may or may not risk the warranty. A merchant needs an official waiver to require customers to use parts from its brand exclusively.

How can I stop fake calls? ›

On your device, open the Phone app . Spam and Call Screen. Turn See caller & spam ID on or off. Optional: To block spam calls on your phone, turn on "Filter spam calls." You don't get missed call or voicemail notifications, but filtered calls are in your call history, and you can check your voicemail.

Does * 61 block unwanted calls? ›

If you have a digital home phone with AT&T, *61 blocks unwanted calls as part of their free Call Blocking service. Press *61 then the “call” button to add the last call you received to your blocked call list. To stop receiving calls from all private numbers (calls without caller ID), dial *77.

Do any cars have a 10 year warranty? ›

Anchored by a 10-year/100,000-mile powertrain limited warranty 2 , a roadside assistance plan that provides help if you need it for five full years 3 , and a commitment to innovation that comes from nearly a century of building some of the world's best engineered automobiles, Mitsubishi Confidence is your assurance ...

Who has a 10 year warranty? ›

Compare America's Best Warranty
Powertrain Limited WarrantyAnti-Perforation Warranty
Hyundai10-Year / 100,000-Mile7-Year / Unlimited
Toyota5-Year / 60,000-Mile5-Year / Unlimited
Honda5-Year / 60,000-Mile5-Year / Unlimited
Nissan5-Year / 60,000-Mile5-Year / Unlimited
2 more rows

Which cars have a 5 year warranty? ›

Best cars with a 5-year warranty 2023
  • Hyundai Ioniq.
  • Hyundai i10.
  • Jeep Wrangler.
  • Hyundai Kona Electric.
  • Renault Clio.
  • Subaru BRZ.
  • Renault Zoe.
  • Hyundai Santa Fe.

Who is the best warranty company? ›

Best Extended Car Warranty Companies
Car Warranty CompanyOur AwardOverall Score
Endurance Check PriceBest Comprehensive Coverage9.3
CarShield Learn MoreBest for Flexible Payments8.9
Carchex Learn MoreBest Industry Reputation9.1
Omega Auto Care Learn MoreBest Maintenance Benefits8.7
4 more rows
May 13, 2024

Which phone has the longest warranty? ›

The Fairphone 5 is built to last – it comes with a 5 year warranty and software support until at least 2031 (8 years from now). At least that long, if things work out well the phone will be supported for 10 years. You get Android 13 out of the box and the company plans to deliver at least 5 OS updates to the phone.

What is warranty forever? ›

Warranty Forever is a lifetime powertrain warranty, lasting as long as you own your own vehicle. There is no maximum mileage and no maximum ownership term. Warranty Forever® pays 100% parts and labor costs anywhere in the USA. Warranty Forever is not included on all units.

What are two items typically not covered in a car warranty? ›

Car warranties generally won't cover routine maintenance services like oil changes or damages caused by a lack of regular upkeep. Other exclusions include car parts such as tires, brake pads, wiper blades and light bulbs that degrade due to normal wear and tear.

What warranty does not cover? ›

Manufacturer's warranties are designed to protect against defects and malfunctions, but they do not cover damages caused intentionally by the user. Any deliberate damage inflicted on a product, such as physical alterations, dismantling, or unauthorized repairs, will void the warranty.

What to do if a company won't honor their warranty? ›

What Can You Do if a Store Won't Honor Your Warranty?
  1. Reread the Warranty. The first thing you want to do is reread your warranty to find out exactly what is covered and who is offering the warranty. ...
  2. Send Demand Letters. ...
  3. Sue in Court.
Mar 21, 2019

Why am I getting so many car warranty calls? ›

Car warranty scams occur when someone impersonates a manufacturer or a dealership and contacts a customer claiming their warranty expired. The scammer often attempts to persuade you to renew your warranty, insisting that a failure to do so could result in expensive repairs, engine replacements or transmission issues.

How do I stop automated nuisance calls? ›

The best way to reduce nuisance calls is to register for free with the Telephone Preference Service (TPS). They'll add you to their list of numbers that don't want to receive sales and marketing calls.

Why am I getting so many spam calls all of a sudden? ›

Why am I getting so many spam calls? If you have answered a number of robocalls, it may be because the spam caller sold your number to other scammers or telemarketing companies. Remember, if the call is important enough, the caller will leave a voicemail message.

How to block spam calls on landline? ›

Many network providers offer call-blocking or scam filters that can be used on landlines: The star code *60 is used by many network providers to help block spam calls. Simply dial *60 and follow the instructions to block either the most recent number or a specific number.

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